Ode to my health

I was hanging out watching some crap B movie with Simon lastnight and going out for a smoke every 5 minutes to protect myself from the immense stupidity of it when I realized that I had smoked almost my whole pack of ciggies that I just opened a few hours before.... no fuckin' wonder my throat was on fire. Not to mention the fact that I hadn't eaten anything all day and it was coming up on 10pm. So, I went back inside and sat on the couch and my daughter came downstairs to give me one more hug before bed, she gave me the hug and looked at me and told me I'm the best mom "on the world" then she gave Simon a hug and ran upstairs to bed. I just sat there and looked at simon and told him we're both being idiots. Simon smokes as much as me and he's a strict meatatarian. He only drinks pepsi, beer or the occasional glass of sugar packed juice. I smoke like it's goin out of style and I tend to forget to eat regularly, it's too damn time consuming. I felt bad about this, not for my own health, but for my kids. What are they gonna do if both their parents kick the bucket at 30-something?
Anyway, I've been hearing all this amazing shit about Green Tea lately, It's like some kind of miracle food... or drink.... It does everything from speeding up your metabolism to protecting your teeth from cavities to preventing and slowing down the growth of certain cancers, and that whole antioxidant thing it's got going on supposedly helps with chronic headaches and skin problems. Interesting...... So I opened up my cupboard and pulled out that box of Green Tea I bought like 3 months ago and made a tea, and it actually tasted kinda good so I made another, then one more... then I went to bed. Woke up this morning feeling a fuck of alot better than I have in a long, long time. It's like I actually had a decent sleep for once, and unlike usual, I didn't wake up with one of those morning headaches I've become accustomed to. Weird... So, it's 12:44 in the afternoon and I'm working on my 3rd Green Tea of the day. I figure I'm gonna replace my usual Diet Coke of Evil with the tea, which means I'll be drinking literally 2-4 litres of it every day, my ulcer's gonna love me for this :)
I know this probably isn't very interesting to alot of you, but it matters to me, and I really like how I'm actually feeling healthy for the first time in years, after just 1 day. Remember when you were young and you never got sick? every day felt like a NEW day and you felt like a little superman or something? Well that's how I feel today, like sickness ain't got shit on me lol.
So, I'm gonna update my blog with this Green Tea stuff and let you all know how it's working out for me every few weeks. I personally think that everyone should start drinking this shit. Japan's got the right idea.

Seacrest OUT!
`~Naomi

Nipple Apple Crap

Yuck... I just looked out the window and it's freakin' snowing...damn Canada. Now don't get me wrong, I actually like the snow, but when it's raining at the same time...well, I cry.
It's not a nice cold that makes you think of Christmas and presents, it's that shitty straight to the bone cold that has you wiping the boogers off your kids' noses all day. Well, it's either you wipe them off or you watch your kids play double dutch with snot strings, and that ain't right.
Anyway, today was ok... I spent alot of time working on new designs for Retro Cafe. I'm gonna be making some new retro dingbat sets for myself so people can stop ripping ME off. That's the thing about getting featured in Cafepress newsletters. Give it a day or two and your designs will mysteriously end up with clones, fucking wankers. You know, someone rips you off then they've got the balls to say you stole the idea from THEM. Whatever... how about a nice cup of I raped your mother? only 10 cents!

All the crap going on with my friend Jess is still going... She'll most likely be living with me soon. That's cool tho, I miss the bitch. Too bad her ex can't smarten up and stop gambling with his kid.
I guess some of us learn from the mistakes other people make, and some of us only make bigger ones.

Off to the bar... In need of le beer.

So what if I cause hysteria - Part deux

So, I wake up this morning, have a fatass coffee and a couple smokes, then I go and check my email. I open up my inbox and there's not one, but 2 emails from Ryan. I sat here and psyched myself up cuz I knew they'd make me mad lol.. I was like "Ok Name, this guy is a dick loving, woman beating prison bitch. He's gonna say something completely uncool and you're gonna get pissed" lol... Anyway, I open the first one and it says :

SO UR GUNNA COME SMASH MY FUCKIN FACE IN EH WELL IM WAITIN SO COME HERE AND SMASH IT IN CALL ME WHEN U GET TO TOWN -phone number-

YOU FUCKIN

GOOF
I respond with "You stupid fucking wanker, For someone who's so "tough" with being in prison and all, you're a fucking retard. Do you even know what goof means? from what I remember it's the guys that fuck with children and women that get labelled a goof in the pen, not the women trying to stick up for their friends that are getting beaten by their goof boyfriends. I hope you get arrested again so the inmates can make you their bitch. Don't drop the soap, baby."

He wrote me another email: OH I GUESS THIS IS THE CUNT OF THE FAMILY EH WELL I GUESS U WOULD HAVE BIGGER BALLS THAN UR BROTHER WELL MAYBE ILL SEE U SOON HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY

Now this was annoying. Not only does this guy not know what grammar is, but he's bringing my brother into the whole deal. My brother is 6'2, he almost killed some guy before for fucking with his girlfriend. He turned his jaw into mush, and he's not afraid to use a baseball bat to keep his hands clean lol.
I wrote him back saying:
"Learn to spell you uneducated tool. If you had half a brain you wouldn't bring my bro into this. None of it matters anyway. I'm gonna fuck you where it hurts the most. We'll see how long you last without your punching bag, or the kid you're gonna try and turn into a fucking fool like yourself. We don't need anymore people like you in the world."

SO, I'm getting Jessica to move in with us, if she'll agree with it, and she probably will. Simon wants her to get her ass here asap. My fiance is known for fucking up guys that fuck with women, and this is no exception. He's got a tire knocker hanging by the front door and waiting for Ryan to show up. That'll be the day.
It's all pretty funny actually. I'm 5'5, 130 lbs soaking wet with big boots on lol. Ryan's probably abit bigger than me, My Simon looks like this:*SIMON*
(ignore the goo on his tongue, he was eating one of those black candies that stain your mouth lol)

What a shame this is. I don't know why people can't just smarten the fuck up and realize that they've been blessed with someone that loves them, or a beautiful baby. Why do people fuck themselves? I don't get it....

~*So what if I cause hysteria - It's not my dilemma~*

Yeeeeaarrrrrggggghhh. GAH! I'm pretty pissed right now.... I don't even know what to say, I'm so mad.
I have this thing, for some reason... I don't know why, I just totally can't stand women beaters. Who would've thought? I think they're cowards and I think they should be beaten to death, bought back to life and beaten again.
My best friend Jess met this guy a couple years ago. His name is Ryan. The had "the sex" then Jess got pregnant. She had a baby boy named Riley and he's 1 1/2 now. Cutest kid you'll ever see.
Now Jess is a year younger than me and she's never been much of a fighter, infact she's quite tiny and probably couldn't fight her way out of a paper bag. She's got abit of a mouth on her, but that's why I like her. I've known Jess since we were both pissing in our diapers... Our parent's have been close since before we were born, since my dad and her dad met in the pen. Our family friendship deal goes way back, Jess is like my sister.
ANYWAY, This Ryan guy has been on my shit list for quite a while, ever since Jess was pregnant and Ryan decided to come on msn or email shit about how supposedly hot I am and how he wants to fuck me and shit like that. I've been telling Jess to ditch the guy, but she can't... It's the whole need for security, solid family, "Oh, but I love him" or "Oh, I can change him" bullshit that every women lacking confidence in herself goes through.
It fucking pisses me off. Ryan went from giving Jessica attitude and calling her fat (while she was pregnant) To threatening to hit her, to hitting her, to threatening her life. Shit got so bad last month that Ryan's very own SISTER got him arrested for what he's been doing to my Jessie.
So, I was just sitting here on my puter the other day when Jess comes on and spills the beans to me, she told me everything he's been doing and I hit the fucking roof. My entire life consisted of watching my Dad beat the piss out of myself, siblings and Mom. We were ruled by a wimp, narcissistic, bi-polar fist of drugged up steel for years, so when I heard that my best friend is living the life my Mom was, and that her beautiful baby boy's gonna be living the life *I* was, I got pretty fucking mad. What really gets to me tho, is Ryan's on my msn list and it was his nickname that made me wanna put my head through my monitor. "Don't worry Riley boy, Daddy's coming to get you, daddy loves you". What THE FUCK is that?!!!! How the fucking fuck can he try and act like he's some loving father when he's beating and threatening the woman that gave birth to his child? How can he do that? Fucking coward, I wanna clamp his eyelids open and squeeze lemon juice in them.
Anyway, I'm so frustrated right now cuz I live almost 2 hours away from them and my fiance Simon works like 80 hours a day so I'm not gonna get a chance to go down there and boot fuck the guy. All I could do was bitch and threaten the asshole on msn, which is gay, but it's all I could do. Oh, and he didn't respond. Who's the bitch now??? It was so retarded... I just sat here and typed out every insane comment I could think of. I really, really want to hurt him. Stupid fuck thinks he's cool cuz he hurts tiny chicks? He won't be laughing when I shove a fork up his dick.
..........What a fucker..........

Fuckin' asshole DOGS!

Alright, I'm starting to get more and more annoyed at that comment made about my greeting cards lol. *These Cards*
Now, I can understand why some people would be brought to tears by this, but for fuck sakes - Get over it. See the title of this section? See how it says "Really rude greetings" Yeah, notice the "RUDE" part of that title? Now what exactly were you expecting? I cannot believe someone would waste their time complaining about that shit. I'm not sorry that they were offended. I happen to hate dogs, and I happen to be quite offended by THEM. So fuck you.
Why on earth would I ever be offended by dogs, you ask? Well, let's see shall we?
1. They shit on my lawn
2. They piss on my lawn
3. They smell like the shit and piss on my lawn
4. They try to hump my legs
5. They try to mount my kids
6. I almost got eaten by one when I was a kid
7. My cat DID get eaten by one when I was a kid
8. My brother almost lost his fucking nose to one
9. They like to shove their faces up people's asses
and 10. They're fucking loud, oh- and they smell like shit.

Moral of the story: You don't like my designs about dogs, I don't like dogs, period. If you don't like my shit, don't fuckin' look at it. (Kinda like how I don't look at yours).

Off to skin some cats... (Just kidding assholes!)

an...aussie...in...america....

So, I went and read Addy's blog today. Pissed my pants, I did. That's some funny fuckin shit he's got in there.

If you're bored, you need a laugh, or you like reading about cellulite ass, go read Addy's blog.

LOL

So I ventured over to the CP forums and saw the giant thread about me. Thanks to all you who aren't being assholes.
Liberalstore lol... I'm not smoking anything.
Andromeda, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings with the dog card. Get in line (it's a long one).

And yes, deleted my last entry. I spazzed, I felt better, then I deleted. It's a natural process. lol

Anyway, I hope the majority of you do well or continue doing well with your shops :) Maybe one day in the distant future I'll be granted the privilege of being able to pop in and say hi. Have a good one!

Shopping Directory

For all you people who know what I'm talking about, I decided on a name for the directory, but I'm not telling yet.
Everything is coming along nicely and I have many, many submissions going up.
The whole point of this directory is to create the most unique shopping experience on the net, and one that doesn't include wading through zillions of clone stores and businesses that aren't legit.

Stores MUST have unique products available to be considered. Department type "mass produced" stuff won't make the cut. Bad navigation won't make the cut. Crap customer service won't make the cut. Ad farm seizure inducing flashy stuff and pop-ups will just get you laughed at. Don't bother suggesting a site if it doesn't follow those guidelines.

Cafepress stores are more than welcome, but we are limiting the amount of basic shops that get accepted for obvious reasons. If you have a basic shop, but still feel your designs are totally compelling and amazing, then by all means, suggest it to us.

email us at obsolete1_custserv@yahoo.com to suggest your site.
Include your store name, a small description and URL.

Thanks :)
~Obsolete1

The Bizarre Rant

We're not gossiping... we're networking.....
Everyone is hereby ordered to check out Kat's blog "The Bizarre Rant".
The two of us are currently in the process of creating a "fan club"... or "flame club"... or "flan(?) club" if you will.
Details to follow eventually, when my eyes stop bleeding from staring at this computer monitor for so long.
Anyway, forget the flan club, just go check out the Aussie rantings of Kat at The Bizarre Rant.

~Naomi of Obsolete1